Monkey Mind Part Two


In part one of this multipart posting extravaganza (sorry I had coffee before writing) I had a little chat with my monkey mind. The idea for this piece came from a book called The Chimp Paradox, which my bro had recommended (he’s the rational one). So I indulged him and purchased the Audible version in order to listen on my way to work each morning. I have begun to understand why my brain does what it does and what simple things I can do to manage it, rather than let it run wild like a sex deprived chimpanzee at Hooters.

But don’t get me wrong here, I am not suddenly a Messiah of the mind now, I can’t turn my brain off that easily. No I am very much in the learning stage and man am I feeling that learning curve. I guess what I am saying to my monkey mind and yours is that there’s help out there if you practice regularly. Just remember, don’t give up, keep swimming.

Now to the Monkey…

Hey Monkey how are you?

Pretty chill?

Oh that’s great to hear because I thought we could have a little chat.

What do you mean no? The food shopping? But you don’t do that stuff I do, I’m the rational one!

Oh, it was a joke! Ah I see, because you are an emotional monkey, not an actual monkey that can grip a shopping trolley. Haha hilarious!

So anyway chuckles, I wanted to speak to you about how stressed out you got last Friday when we installed that replacement meeting table in the city. Yeah it wasn’t great was it. Cos I had this plan didn’t I and then some other idiots got in the way and butted in. It got you a little mad didn’t it. That’s ok you don’t need to apologise, that idiot was violating our territory.

Look I think we need to speak out in the future. When you get riled up we need to take a moment and breathe, before we stand our ground and stick to our guns. No not literal guns Monkey, they’d be dangerous in your hands! You see when we speak up you are calmer, we might not get our way, but at least we are voicing our opinion and not going along for the ride.

Going back to Friday, that other idiot kept asking inane and unimportant questions didn’t he and that kind of wound you up a bit more. What we didn’t know was that he had his own worries and that was why he was asking those questions. But at the time you got wound up tighter than a banjo string at a country music festival. Next time we just need to breathe and ask ourselves and the other person why they are asking their questions if we are unsure. If we take a minute to understand it might reduce our anger and avoid confusion and cock ups.

How about the lifts at the office eh? That was another annoyance we didn’t need. But in the end that installer saved us. It was as though he could see we weren’t having a great time and he rescued us. Once we got into the fitting with him things improved. He brought us back, cos that is the power of a positive attitude on others, it can turn things around for more than one person. We need to remember that when we get stressed in the future because we do have the energy to be positive Monkey, we used to be SO positive before, we CAN get back there.

You remember the sausage roll and the Coke? That helped too didn’t it. When you get angry it is often because you need feeding. The simple things are the best. A bit like the meditations. We’ve been doing them consistently this week and already things are different, you’ve been more chilled. What? Where did you get pot from?! I thought the meditation was the key? Well anyway, you’ve been better this week with a little exercise and some meditation. Sex? Steady monkey, the libido is still recovering from that photo of Trump and Theresa May.

Can we agree on a couple of things before I go? Yeah I have to go. I have a hot date with this girl. NO, our wife you donut! One woman is enough! So let’s continue with the meditation, just ten minutes a day is helping. Let’s get that exercise consistency up with 15 minutes a day and cut down on the Cheetos. Finally let’s keep the talking going, it’s good! What do you mean I do all the talking? You’ve done enough for the both of us these last few weeks. Let’s just be open and fight our corner with talking, not with your fists. Thanks Monkey.

Chat soon…


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