Lately I have felt like my life was moving along at a clip and I wasn’t in the driver’s seat. I was working 6 days a week and my head was buzzing like a bag of wasps. This was probably in response to a mental health episode I had before Christmas. I was distracting myself by keeping busy rather than dealing with the problem.
Fortunately I had begun some therapy sessions with a new psychologist around Christmas which has helped me a great deal. We have looked into why I think and act the way I do, which has helped me to view my life differently and make some important changes. One of those changes is to take a step back from work and have a break without feeling guilt. Another is spending more time on my passions in order to feel a greater sense of fulfilment in my days.
It sounds obvious to say now, but working less by only doing one job instead of three has been a welcome relief! For reasons I am still exploring I have always kept myself busy with work, which has often meant more than one job. I now feel I have stepped off the travelator and am back in the driver’s seat of my own life, controlling what I say yes and no to. Obviously I was always in the driver’s seat, but I needed to take a break to see how much control I really had. Having space and time to think clear rational thoughts about what I am doing is incredibly helpful. Rather than reacting emotionally to decisions in the moment I am able to take the time I need to think about whether they will serve my ultimate purpose. I am teaching myself to not help lots of people across different jobs, but instead focus that time and energy into one commitment.
That commitment is of course my writing and work around mental health and self improvement. It’s something I have done for years with fitness training, but has usually involved a great deal of listening. That is the key part which I am now doing less of in order to help more people rather than fewer. If you’ve seen my Instagram or Facebook of late you will have seen my frequent tip posts. That along with my book writing, podcast and YouTube channel are the mediums I am focusing effort on in order to reach and help as many people as possible with their mental health.
All of this creativity is what I love to do, it is my passion. I don’t find it difficult to sit down and do any of it. I enjoy the challenges, the questions and opinions it throws up. Doing more of it only serves to fuel and motivate me further, which is a far cry from all of the other work I have ever done.
I’ll finish for now with a sentence I never thought I’d say. My therapist said this week, if we can create space in our lives to stop and listen to our psyche, it will guide us towards that which is our truth, our passion. Pursuing our truth is the true meaning of life.